To JOSHUA SIMON:
Hi. You probably don't know me. Neither do I (much, anyways).
The first time I read about you was when I was chilling at 18's Chef and they had 'HYPE' MAGAZINE lying around. Then, MJ had just gone so yeah, they had a special edition about him. I read an article you wrote; it wasn't anything much or special until I reached the end. You prayed to God asking why did MJ have to go, and He compassionately told you it was because people didn't appreciate MJ. That struck me greatly because I realised we often overlook each person's value to God and there was so much empathy, compassion and heartache in that writing.
Well. I didn't know who you were then, but that article stuck in my head. I saw you just once, or twice at your church for the Christmas event in 2009. The Pastor asked you out to dance (I think). "Joshua, Joshua!" He gestured. But you smiled meekly, putting your hands together and declined. (Okay, I remember this because yes, I think you're hot). Heh.
So yada yada fast forward - I found your blog by accident via Cassandra's blog. You've yet to revamp your blog (you were still using blogspot, I think).
I read two articles that made my heart sour to the point that *drumroll* I cried, yes lol.
One was about you imagining your life as a successful musician but eventually you would return back home, to your cardboard box without someone to love, someone who loves you. You said you can't imagine kisses and all the giddy from lovespells. I teared because I believe that everyone deserves to be loved and the world doesn't mean anything without love, y'know? I don't know what made you feel that way, but I thought that your thoughts are beautiful and how could anyone not appreciate them?
Moving on. Hmm, the second one was about your dream. You dreamt that you were at a bus stop and someone was shooting all the Christians. In your dream you didn't admit to believing in God, justifying with 'you can save others later when you escape'. I was kinda like you in that dream, always a closet Christian, fearing to stand up for Jesus. I identified with you then, and admired you for your courage to post that on your blog. (:
For a while, I had a resolution to get to know you deeply. I love your thoughts. I guess that faded out with time. Haha.
But your previous posts are not longer on your blog.
"So why are you writing to me?" you might think.
I just wanted to tell you that I'm more of a fan of your writing than your music. (I like your music, but I love your writing) :D
You probably get mails like this everyday, so this might not mean anything much. But I'm glad I wrote this to you, I have been wanting to let you know what I thought of you for quite some time.
JOSHUA SIMON SAYS:
First of all, I get some pretty crazy mails, but not.. like this. This little letter is gonna stick with me for a while and I admire this person's courage and humility that she shared with me about the things I write and inspire me in my music and life. You know, I've been almost, avoiding going onto my blog and somehow she found my older articles that were very personal. I figured, talking less about the internal me was a bad thing and it would make me vulnerable. I was actually gonna take down all the new articles on my new blog and just post my music instead. What do you guys think?
You know most of my life, is dealing with either waiting, or listening to people tell me what NOT to do. And I've been silenced quite a bit in the past few years. I used to write alot. I used to express myself alot more. Yell, scream and shout if I wanted to. For the heck of it throw peanut butter around. Extremes. Nowadays I'm actually worried for my insanity, I'm getting quite ordinary. Whether I should go back to that or find an inbetween, that's that's.the thing right? Haha, growing up really isn't easy. I'm far from being the adult I ought to be yet. And since so much of me has been public--actually almost all of us, in many ways are quite naked these days, I ought to just share. I never thought those lil' articles meant anything. And it probably didn't until, just one person raises her hand up. You know? It's these people that I write and sing for.
I've got some writing to do.
Thank U so much for this. I'm gonna keep it somewhere safe.
Infront of the world.
